This week marks my last week at work for the foreseeable future. I’ve decided to become a stay-at-home mammy, and focus on my little family. It’s not a decision that came easily, but I’m positive that it’s the right decision.
Like a lot of working mothers, I’ve struggled with that awful mammy guilt that goes hand-in-hand with being a working mum ever since I went back to work two months ago. I’ve been very lucky to have fantastic childcare, and a supportive family willing to help out whenever needed. Jack adjusted beautifully to his new routine, and settled in nicely with his childminder. However, I have been torn up with guilt, and downright miserable at times. Mornings were spent rushing through our breakfast routine in order to get out of the house on time, and running around to make sure I had everything packed that he would need for the day. By the time I picked him up in the evening, there was just enough time for dinner and a few minutes of play before bed. I found myself wishing the week away so I could spend the weekend with him. It felt like I spent all my time handing him off to others, and I was missing out on being his mammy.
While I love my job, and find it challenging and interesting, it requires long hours and frequent travel. Since we have moved back to Ireland, I have been working from home, and trying to keep up with different time zones has meant late night meetings are a frequent occurrence. Work/Life balance is an impossible dream in most cases, but trying to juggle quality time with my family, and my job, has been a nightmare. After a recent 3-day work trip, and a long heart-to-heart with the hubby, I made the decision to bite the bullet and quit.
My mother was a stay-at-home mammy to five of us, so I’m under no illusions that it will be all coffee mornings and play dates. Staying at home with your child is hard work, with no breaks, and no paid holidays. I won’t even be able to pee alone! I’m nervous about throwing caution to the wind and taking a career break, not to mention going down to a single income. However, I know I won’t regret spending this time with my baby. We waited a long time for our little man, and the baby years are so short. So goodbye to meetings and overflowing inboxes, and hello to 24/7 nappy changing, mammy & baby groups and cuddles!